Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s being brave and getting into action in spite of fear. I didn’t know I was courageous. Now I know the Lord gave me this path because he has a plan for me to show people that healing is possible.

I had never had a panic attack before. It was 5:00 am and I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean, about to drown and no one was around to save me. I was sweating, yet I felt cold and tense. I just held on to my husband’s arm and held on for dear life.

This was the morning after I had taken my first dose of an antidepressant my doctor had prescribed for anxiety.

It was 2009 and I was working for a medical sales company, selling medical supplies throughout many states, traveling frequently and having to leave my family to make a living. If you remember, 2009 is when the markets crashed.

My husband’s business was not making it and we were on the brink of losing our home.

We were financially broke and I was feeling like I was choking in fear and completely overwhelmed with my job. The feeling I got every morning when I woke up was of impending doom; as if something bad was going to happen and I didn’t know what. I didn’t know how to make it stop.

My doctor mentioned to me that my blood sugar was elevated and I had some markers for an autoimmune condition. This was devastating news to me. I had seen my father die of diabetes complications: Kidney failure and diabetic neuropathy. He had agonized for four years before he finally passed away. The prospect of following in his footsteps terrified me. So I froze. I did nothing for two whole years!

I’d bought books, done online courses, taken antidepressants and gone to many therapists looking for answers to my health issues. I was stressed, my gut burned and ached, my body was breaking down, I had elevated blood sugar, my joints hurt, my back was in excruciating pain and I was at my wits end.

I had always been healthy, eating what I thought was good food and exercising daily. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me! I went to many doctors and they always said the same thing: “you’re just getting old; this is normal”.

I had been in perimenopause, kind of like the labor pains of menopause that could last up to ten years, not quite full labor, but in misery due to hormonal imbalance: My hair had been falling out for years,my skin had eczema all over, my face was full of a red rash I couldn’t get rid of; I wasn’t sleeping and I cried at the drop of a hat.

Needless to say, I was a mess and my poor husband was walking on eggshells! He never knew which wife would be showing up: The good witch or the bad witch.

I had pictured romantic days and nights with my husband, rekindling our time together and instead I was a nervous wreck, sad, depressed, anxious, irritable and in pain pretty much always.

My doctor had given me a PPI, which is a medication that blocks the normally produced acid in your stomach, but I knew this carried side effects. It took it but I didn’t know how to get

My aha moment came when I was talking to my therapist and she revealed to me she had healed her back pain the day before she was going to have major back surgery.

This caught my attention and I had to listen to her story: Her story told me it was possible to use the body/mind connection to heal. I couldn’t believe what she was sharing with me, so I decided to believe it and lo and behold I was able to get off the medication. The stomach pain was gone!

After I read the book she recommended, I started to use my mind to understand that my body was speaking to me, I got off the meds and my pain subsided. I knew there was so much more to this, so I decided to dive deep into the connection between the body and the mind.